"Hippie" guy: I'm more of a hippie in that I do more shrooms that more acid
Girl: Oh! So are you a Vegan?
"Hippie" guy: No, I'm Aquarius.
*Whilst picking up some Goldfish crackers*
Frank: Oh, my wallet and my cell phone don't fit in the same pocket because my pants are so tight.
Me: Maybe you should lay off the Goldfish.
Frank: Maybe I should just get bigger pants.
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